decision '05

haven't received any call yet from pdi. so i'm still very much floating status right now. last i've heard, my friends will soon start working. so glad for them. (libre ha! invite n'yo ko pag nagstarbucks kayo after your regular meetings.)

as if that weren't enough, tumawag ang gma. exam daw bukas. sa sobrang bilis, di ako nakatanggi. argh.

truth is, a part of me wants to work there, if not for the obligation sa inquirer. tv offers unparalleled impact on the lives of ordinary people. well, gusto ko rin magwork sa inquirer because it offers a different but a more familiar experience. gusto ko talagang magsulat ever since at kilala ko na ang ibang tao dun. tsaka, kung papogihan lang din ang labanan sa tv, wag na lang. wala akong balak mag-artista.

kaya para di na ko malito: law school na lang (anong reasoning kaya to?) nah, i've always wanted to be a lawyer also. hindi dahil gusto kong makipagdebate, pero dahil sa nakikita kong malaking papel na ginagampanan ng batas at ang pagpapatupad nito sa ating lipunan.

laws are supposed to ensure justice and order in society. laws are there so people's rights may be protected to the fullest possible manner without trampling on anybody else's rights. and laws are supposed to be directed toward what is true and what is good.

the problem is, hindi ganun ang nangyayari. the whole judicial process is meant to seek out the truth but it seems that everything boils down to having the best lawyers on your side. and who gets to have them? siyempre ang may pera. so pera-pera na lang pala ang batas.

that's a hasty generalization of course. pero that's how most people see it. and it's sad because i do think there are still good lawyers out there who still believe that law is a noble profession, the practice of which therefore should remain highly ethical at all times, if only to show respect to the craft. the purpose should always be public service and the discovery of the truth.

wag naman sana ako madisillusion this early. come on, i still have four years of endless "dates" with the constitution, the supreme cout rulings, the revised penal code, etc... dorky days will soon be here again!

pero the fact remains, sayang pa rin yung chance na magwork sa inquirer o gma.

***

good news: got this chance to join the 2005 world youth day in germany in august this year. bad news: i'm about to lose it. ang mahal kasi!

where will i find 110 euros (close to 8t) by friday to pay for reg? where will i get 1,300 us dollars to pay for the fare? there's a fund-raising campaign of course, but how am i supposed to raise enough for myself and for the others who are joining?

i've thought of asking my parents but here's the problem: with relatives getting seriously sick on my father's side while the businesses of my other relatives on my mother's side are having rough sailing, how can i turn a blind eye and ask for such a huge sum?

you see, while i feel so strongly about seeing the new pontiff (after beating my breast during john paul II's funeral for letting go of the chance to meet him 2 years ago), i still could not bring myself to spend that much for my own personal religious experience. true, the event could be life-changing but wouldn't using that money instead to help those in need be more christian? i don't wanna judge. siguro i'm just sourgraping kaya i'm saying all these. or maybe i lack the supernatural outlook. please help me see.

well, i have until friday to decide.


..........
choices...why'd you always have to make one?