came across this article:

Promising Author Egolf Kills Himself at 33

LANCASTER, Pa. - Tristan Egolf, a political activist and author whose first novel at age 27 won him comparisons to William Faulkner and John Steinbeck, has died. He was 33.

Egolf died May 7 of a self-inflicted gunshot wound in a Lancaster apartment, said G. Gary Kirchner, Lancaster County coroner.

Egolf had shown signs of depression over the past 18 months, said Michael Hoober, a family therapist in Lancaster and friend of Egolf.

"He pushed the envelope wherever he went," Hoober said. "His creativity was always right in front of him, but somewhere in there it started to fall apart."


why would anyone so young and so promising decide to kill himself?

i get disturbed each time young people die because of something that's out of their control. but hearing about young people killing themselves is even more perplexing. nakapanlulumo.

i don't know egolf. i haven't even read his books. i don't know what was in his mind a few moments before he pulled that trigger. maybe he did have his own share of problems. maybe he felt he was losing his creativity, his ingenuity, his talent. maybe he felt it was the end of the line for him, so i can never judge him.

pero sayang. had he chosen to live, he could have done more good.

but what really struck me about this story is the fear that i might end up like him. i'd like to think i know how to handle failures. i'd like to believe that i will never do something unthinkable as killing myself. but i can never know for sure.

things are going well these days but tomorrow is still uncertain. i dread the thought that one day i will find myself depressed, disappointed and dismayed at all the things happening around me, with no love left even for myself that i will actually decide to pull that trigger or jump off a building.

i just wish people will see the brighter side of life and not dwell on their miseries. it's a choice really. i hope i'll make the right one.

i have to find solace in Him


Anonymous said...

it's always much easier to say "sayang", or that had he chosen to see the brighter side of life, he would have done so much more. but actually, suicides are a reflection of society and how people relate to one another. it's always not a question of being able to handle failures, but how we are able to support our fellow humans in times of personal difficulty.

Anonymous said...

hi! thanks for taking time to comment. i agree with what you said. had i been there, i would certainly want to help also...hope you could put your name on your message though. just so i would know if i know you...thanks anyway -jobert