tonight i mourn the loss of a block i love so dearly. all it took was a piece of paper, with some words scribbled on it. in an instant, we are uplaw2009b no more.

i am still at a loss as to what to make of things. there's so much to lose that i could not even bring myself to thinking how things will be different, how things will never be the same again. i'd like to think this were just a bad dream, that tomorrow when i wake up, the same boisterous and heartfelt laughter that i've gotten used to for the past two years, would greet me as i come to class. or that this were but a joke, a cruel one, that some pranksters want to pull off on the first day of april, in the way some of my blockmates are so adept at.

but a joke this isn't, and neither is this a dream. this is a reality that has yet to sink in.

strange, isn't it, that the fate of 26 people, once complete strangers but whose lives have since grown intertwined within the jungle that is law school, should now be decided by a piece of paper, as if what bound us together were a mere agreement one could so easily assail. even worse is the idea that fate is toying with our destinies like big brother meddling in the affairs of his housemates.

not a few of us are wondering as to the reason and purpose for this. i'm sure there is. there must be. for a block that once and continues to pride itself in being the most cohesive in our batch, this might very well be a test of strength. this thought, however, does little to console our ruffled emotions because the truth is, come june, we'll be sitting in different rooms, on different seats with different faces. what makes it all the more painful is that we get to see each other once in a while, only to look back at the glorious days of what had been.

i will miss a lot of things about my block. competitive digest pools. lunch-out sessions of more than 10. well-planned parties. tambay and study sessions. tsismisan and laitan portions. bangag recits. cam-whoring. and yes, i will miss being the butt of the block's jokes from time to time.

one fond memory i have of my block that i will remember most took place last december. i was running late for my trip to sagada with rhea when i dropped by the block christmas party. a lot of complications took place. we got caught up in traffic, my bag got lost, there were sudden schedule changes. i was all harassed when i arrived at the place, anything but in party mood. but they found ways to make me enjoy the party despite my being there for only 20 minutes. some of my blockmates fetched my bag. they made sure i ate. they took photos while we were all wearing our costumes. one had her driver drive me over to a place where i could get a cab. and while i was leaving, i could hear them chanting, go jobert! that was when i truly proved that this is more than just a block i could call my own -- this is a family, my family.

a family we will still be. but blockmates no more.

i'm sorry if i sound like i'm grieving for a lost loved one. it's worse even. it is more than a loved one i'll lose. it's like a part of me is dying gradually, like cancer slowly eating you up. and that's the worst part -- knowing you're about to lose that part of the body and you can't do anything about it.

thanks dear blockmates for two years' worth of memories. here's to more years ahead, despite and inspite of everything. once a blockmate, always a blockmate. uplaw2009b. always will B.

simulblog with pics at: driven 2