wycoco

just learned from rhea that wycoco has died. after more than two weeks in coma, he has gone home.

i don't know him personally but the news of his passing saddens me. he's probably one of those "few good men" in office, at least as far as i know.

sad also because his death comes at a time when most family members are home for christmas. in his case, his children are here but he wasn't given the chance to see them for the very last time.

looking at the brighter side though, at least he died peacefully and is now at rest, free from the hassles of this world. finally.
..........
let's pray for his soul.

the block in pics

UPLaw2009B in black and white.


the block, trying in vain to be wacky


hindi naman mahilig sa camera ang block na to. (at bok's place during the sembreak)



bihira lang talaga kaming magpapicture.



we don't usually pose habang nag-aaral.


or, habang kumakain.


pag may ginagaya lang(the judith look. prof. feliciano watch out!)


o kapag may event (just before ms. freshman)


or during the event. (ms. freshman pa rin)

..........
i love this block.

the block christmas party

the block christmas party was simply awesome.

alas singko pa lang ng hapon, di na mapigil ang urge na kumanta kaya nang ilabas ang videoke machine (the one na hinuhulugan ng singko), sinimulan na namin ang kantahan. hindi na nagtagal, umiyak na ang langit.

at dahil gutom na si judith, pinahaba pa namin ang kanyang pagdurusa. games muna, featuring the different digest pools. disqualified by default ang consti team dahil 2 lang sila (actually konti lang sila at late ang iba). cheer ng oblicon este the OC team: go labitag! di naman nagpatalo ang crim team. true to their very nature, dumadagundong na, T-Teh! T-Teh! T-Teh! ang kanilang sigaw. (para sa mga kids, no pun intended. Theodore Te kasi ang pangalan ng prof namin sa crim).

kami naman sa legal profession at legal theory team, di nagpatalo sa ka-dorkyhan. churiprof, churiprof, churi churi churi prof. how creative. (word check: ang churi ay galing sa salitang theory na pinauso ng aming presidenteng si jerome habang nagrerecite sa klase. sa sobrang tuwa namin, naging bukambibig na ng lahat. ang slogan ng legal theory digest pool ay: walang churi churi. and btw, si jerome din ang dahilan kung bakit ang spaniards ay speyniards na. peace mr. president! our loyalties are with you!)

first game: message relay thru mouthing of words. sa di malamang kadahilanan, ang tagalog na message--which goes something like: inokray ni ma'am feliciano ang red pants ni judith na binili niya sa kanto ng divisoria at cm recto sa isang tinderang nagngangalang antonia tulaylay--ay naging ingles pagdating sa'kin: prof. feliciano and judith wearing red pants--hindi man lang siya sentence! Panalo tuloy ang OC team courtesy of judith. dapat talaga inimport naman si franzen!

but wait! there's no such thing as kanto ng divisoria at recto dahil divisoria is not a street! judith for the defense: substance is immaterial because the procedure has been followed. teka, parang iba yata alam ko... a basta, kainan na!

masarap ang kainan courtesy of resident chefs andrei, gil and others. healthy dahil panay pasta, chicken and fruits. ito na ata ang pinakasosyal na christmas party na napuntahan ko. walang rice!

matapos magpakabusog, videoke challenge na. bagay na bagay daw sa crim team ang kantang hey jude--true to their hooligan nature. for that, 98 sila. i will survive naman ang hirit ng OC team--survive the antok kay labitag (dagdag mo na si sison). 98 din sila! nadefault na naman ang consti team sa kakapili ng kanta. wala raw kasing "halik" sabi ni carol.

patindi nang patindi ang pressure. pati ba naman sa pagpili ng kanta may time limit. sabi ni vani, sexbomb na lang kantahin natin. sabi ko, puro kc sex nasa utak mo (hehe, kidding). sabi niya, di ah, may bomb din. kaya para safe, toyang na lang kinanta namin. kaya lang, parang tama si vani. sana sexbomb na lang. kinapos, 96 lang kami. hay...t'was the saddest loss.

we swore babawi kami sa charade. but no, crim team na naman nanalo. malay ba namin na may pinoy movie palang "paru-parong ligaw sa bukid na basa." kahit binuhos ko na ang beer, di kinaya. haay...wala, talo kami!

senti moments with message signing followed. thanks guys for the heart-warming messages na may kasamang pangaral. from dave: jobert, words are not bastos. it's in how you use them.

then exchange gift na! got 5 books from ryan, the chief justice. happy! sobrang torture siguro para sa kanya ang pumili ng libro for me. i change my mind all the time...ito, yun, gusto ko yan.

t'was close to midnight already when some people started leaving. but those who stayed, myself included, were bent on disturbing niño's neighbors. kantahan uli. imagine 20 people around the videoke machine singing at the top of their lungs:

iba na ang 'yong tingin, iba na ang 'yong ngiti
nagbago nang lahat sa'yo...

hindi pa kami lasing nun! (the neighbors must have been cursing us.)

this went on for the next two hours, hanggang sa unti-unti kaming napagod. we watched "my little bride" instead. t'was cute and fun pero bitin ata.

finally got some sleep. we left nino's place at 6 a.m. without paligo and all. what a night it was.

salamat niño and the november-december birthday celebrators for hosting the party! next year uli.

..........
christmas break na!

prof-bashing has never been this fun!

madness to the max kagabi sa malcolm shortly after the lantern parade. kantahan, sayawan at comedy circa '80s ala-that's entertainment. may surprise interview pa with kuya germs!

pero ang pinaka-highlight ng gabi: ang pang-ookray sa mga prof. gumugulong kami sa kakatawa habang kumakanta ang mga 4th years:

(toyang)
pig, pig, pig, mukha kang pig
cow, cow, cow, isa kang cow

makakakuha nga ng lyrics nun.

pamatay din ang impersonation ng third year, at syempre ng mga freshies.

pinakapanalo sa lahat--ang darts game! payback time for students na siningko, kinwatro, at sabi nga nung isa, hindi pinayagang magCR ng mga terror profs. too bad i didn't have the guts na tirahin ang isa sa kanila (pictures lang naman). hmmm...wag naman sanang magkadahilan ako next year para sumali sa darts game na yan.

in the end, over-all winner ang mga 4th years dahil sa ipinamalas na katapangan. we came in 2nd, salamat sa mga nagsipagperform especially sa seatmates kong sina epater (na feel na feel ang sayaw with matching bounce sa bawat galaw) at carol (oh carol hehe).

2am na ako nakauwi kanina. what a long day it was. 4am na ko natulog kahapon dahil sa kakaaral sa consti na yan (buti na lang inspired kung hindi...kasi naman lantern parade na may pasok pa!)

speaking of lantern parade, ayos naman. marami rin namang tao nagpunta although it was not as fun as last year. wala na kasing performance at recycled ang parol. got to meet some masscomm folks (na ang haba ng nilakad--from music to quezon hall...di man lang pinagpawisan). kakamiss.

and no, we didn't watch the oblation run (na balita ko e may mga babae daw na tumakbo--at bakit naman insulto yun para sa apo?). instead, me and my dorky blockmates (more than 10 of us) went bookstore hopping sa libis pang-exchange gift. i remember last week, that's the same thing we did after eating lunch. hay... iba na talaga pag dorks mga kasama mo hehehe. where you belong... (joke lang 1B ha).

meanwhile, time to party! inuman na naman mamaya (grrr...baka ano na naman mangyari sa kin...). oh no, wala pa kong pambalot sa gift ko!

..........
merry christmas everyone!

family of ofws

another one in the family has left.

my cousin, who has been with us since high school and is practically the third child in the family, left for turkey yesterday to board a cargo ship. he'll be working there for the next 12 months, or so his contract says.

nothing surprising really because as a seaman, what else is he supposed to do than board a ship? (foreign nga lang...duh, is superferry an option?) it's just that, come to think of it, almost everyone in the family now is leaving the country to work overseas.

one uncle of mine, who is a doctor, left for bahamas weeks ago to work on a cruise ship. i have cousins working as nurses in ireland and in the u.s. another uncle, who had been in saudi for more than 15 years, moved to qatar last year. that's where my parents, my "kuya" (an older cousin) and another uncle and his family are. from the looks of it, some more of my cousins are interested in trying their luck abroad. need i mention that my brother is a nursing student set to graduate next year?

ah, that leaves only a few of us who'll be doomed to stay here. with the profession that i chose, i don't expect to be employed anywhere else. working for al jazeera used to be an option, but now that bush reportedly wanted it bombed, it's out of the picture (i still want my body intact when i die, not pulverized...on second thought, cremation is more economical these days--how morbid these thoughts, God forbid!).

it's not that i want to work abroad. although i haven't stepped outside the country, i'd still say there's no place like home. i can study in other countries maybe and go on a tour, but not spend a lifetime in a distant place, with people you don't know and who won't probably care if you existed or not. given a choice, i'd still want to live here.

but that of course presupposes that leaving is a choice. it may seem like one but most of the time, people are compelled to pack their bags and leave. if you want the best for your family and send your child to law school, you won't care about homesickness, fluctuating temperatures, and long hours of work as long as the price is right. as my cousin says, for every ass she has to wipe as a nurse: dollar! (don't you dare call them selfish and unpatriotic.)

i recognize the concerns about brain drain--the better qualified people leaving and working abroad to the benefit of other countries. but i don't think that the reason why the philippines is lagging behind has anything to do with ofws or whatever term we call them. on the contrary, their dollar remittances have been helping the economy a lot.

i simply think that where the government could not provide people with opportunities for earning a living or for professional growth, it has no right to cry foul when the talented ones in search of a better life have deserted this archipelago.

to be sure, not one administration can resolve the problem that's been there for ages. but the least that government officials could do is to not become part of the problem. when, however, you have presidents who lie, cheat and steal, and tolerate those who do, then you don't stand a chance of ever changing things in this country.

..........
trust is earned. you lose it, it can never become whole again.

speaking of which

the prof (see previous post) did call me this afternoon--just when i had a hard time breathing due to a runny nose made worse by a slight headache. it didn't help that his questions were tricky. lalo akong nalula. nakatayo pa man din ako the whole 2 hours. bonamine!

btw, what's with horses and old people? another prof, who's set to retire next march, always cites horses as an example in his class. (what's an accessory to a horse? what's an accession to it?) not just any horse ha: young female horse. heifer ba tawag dun?

..........
wisdom nga daw comes with age. hope i won't be too old by the time i finally become wise.

amazed

one of my professors this sem happens to be the former lawyer of leo echegaray (the first death convict to die through lethal injection more than five years ago). i particularly remember him because i was impressed way back then for his unrelenting stand against death penalty. at a time when the most popular view seemed to favor lethal injection to put an end to the rising number of heinous crimes, he stood against the tide and fought for his principles.

i wasn't disappointed when he met us last week. his views remained throught-provoking, inviting us to think beyond the text and to look into the implications and the possibilities, including the loopholes, in the law. he pointed out how vague penalties in something so good as the comprehensive dangerous drugs act might eventually lead to its own demise, leaving us with nothing in going after druglords.

but the more amazing thing about him i was to find out not in class but in cyberspace--on his blog. (a friend of mine chanced upon his blog and shared the address with the rest of the block.) on it, he shared his thoughts on different things, the most striking of which was his firsthand account of two executions of his clients back in 1999.

he admits his stand on death penalty has constantly been challenged, but to this day he refuses to believe in the death penalty system. his view, i surmise, is rooted in his respect for life and his deep faith in God, Whom he unabashedly mentions on his blog numerous times.

one friend of mine finds his blog weird, just because there were entries about him trying to learn to play the guitar, among other seemingly simple things you wouldn't expect a lawyer of his caliber to think about. he talks about his experiences with his brothers in a lay community (he is single at age 30+)--about getting lost, sleeping on the floor with banig, etc... this is of course on top of his rants against gma and some college issues.

i find his blog interesting and very insightful. there is joy afterall in little things, but you only get to notice them if you rid yourself of worldly concerns. like he did. here is a man who could have been living off on riches from wealthy clients, but who chose a different path--the road less travelled.

his story isn't exactly new to me. i know of some people who have made a similar choice, and i do admire them for that. it's just that i didn't expect someone from the college where i am now and who have come so far in the profession to have kept that faith burning and alive.

in one of his entries, he did mention something frighteningly familiar--be men in the middle of the world, not men of the world.
so frighteningly familiar it scares me for some reason. i don't know why.

well, so much for stalking on professors. at the very least, here's one prof i could probably learn a lot from.

..........
watched harry potter over the weekend. t'was fun although i wished i had read the book so i didn't have to be clueless the whole time.

must-watch movie: the exorcism of emily rose. funny how it combines most of the things that interest me all in one movie--faith, law and the supernatural. quite terrifying too. heard it's well-researched and intelligently-done and recommended by the cbcp. hope i won't be disappointed.

humorous

mon tulfo: this (julius babao experience) should be a lesson to all journalists covering controversial issues not to be too close to their subject.

look who's talking.

Erap: Ateneo taught me not to lie, cheat, or steal

no wonder. (no offense to ateneo friends)

..........
call it argumentum ad hominem. but i just find these things funny. ibang klaseng humor.

ob-ligat(e)-ions

sa isang nakakaantok at boring na 2pm class (1st day pa lang eto take note):

prof: obligation comes from the root word ligare, meaning to tie...that's why it's called ligation. you don't actually cut but you tie the fallopian tube. (faces a student na 1 hour nang nakatayo) mr. arandia, what's the male counterpart of ligation?

mr. arandia: castration!

hay sa wakas nagising kami. (sa mga hindi gets, vasectomy po)

pero may pagka-sexist pala tong prof na to.

prof: you know what happens to those who purposely go through castration? gossipping becomes their favorite hobby.

go figure.

sabi nga ng classmate ko: ano ba, kapanahonan pa nya si tolentino (na siyang nagsulat ng commentaries on civil code, etc...--buhay pa kaya to?)

at ang prof na rin ang may sabi: you are my valedictory class.

dapat ba akong matuwa?

..........
sandamakmak na naman na readings...na hindi na naman mababasa.

the point madame

headline sa isang tabloid: GMA to media: Bad kayo!

this must be a joke. either the president was misinformed and needs a serious reappraisal of the whole situation or she has a different view--distorted by her desperate attempt to cling to power.

first off, it's never the media's job to be a dutiful son of democracy (or whatever rhetoric she wishes to describe the role of the media), if by dutiful she means helping the government implement its program singapore-style. nice try wishing madam but that just can't be. marcos tried that, by force or by inducement, and where did that lead us?

the point is not that the media chose to deliberately play up the negative angle, but that there simply is nothing positive worth reporting. should we expect the media to report on the merits of the e-vat law when the ones who could feel the benefits are only those in power while the ordinary citizens will have to bear the brunt of increased expenditures? should we ask the media to praise the pnp for its honesty in admitting that it wasn't sahiron, the suspected terrorist, whom they presented to the public but some innocent person? and yeah, should the media congratulate gloria for maligning the credibility of a journalist based on flimsy intelligence report and for standing by it?

the point is not that the media should stop focusing on the faults of gloria and her administration but that she, as a public officer, should have cleaned her own closet in the first place.

maybe she should try understanding the dynamics of the media first (and verifying her stories) before opening her mouth and later refusing to take her words back.

..........
it's ironic that the president wants the media to present positive stories about her and her administration when she can't even answer one basic question: did she cheat in the 2004 elections? answerable by a yes or a no but she chose to say: i won in the elections.

her refusal to answer the question may not be conclusive of guilt. but she owes it to the public to tell the truth. unless she does so, all that she says and will say are gibberish.

in the words of my favorite professor, "you're not being responsive to my question."

to an old friend

i am happy where i am right now. i sincerely wish you would be, too.

warning: dorky GC post

what was supposed to be a happy get-together ended up as a depressing day for most of us in block b. the final grades in one of our subjects were out; the results were disappointing.

well, we really shouldn't have been surprised. the professor (who incidentally was part of the panel that interviewed miriam's son) was notorious for dishing out 5's. and he doesn't give 4's either.

at first, we brushed off stories we heard from his former students. but we eventually experienced how he is in class (yes, the stories were accurate). not only was he intimidating, he had the habit of getting upset all of a sudden and walking out of the room, calling us the worst batch in years. and he had no qualms about giving anyone a 5 for a recit.

to top off the absurdity, he gave us a surprise quiz. it's his prerogative really, but we learned later on that other blocks didn't have such. worse, almost half the class flunked. it seemed to us that when our views simply do not jive with his, we're lucky to get a 2.5. most of us got 5's.

when the smoke-up list (dropping list) came out, 12 from our class dropped the subject. i would have done the same had i known my class standing before the deadline for dropping. i was on the fringe of failing (a little above 3). under ordinary circumstances, it would have been ok. but in a subject where you are doomed to fail in the finals, you need at least a 2 to make sure you get an automatic 3 in the final grade (2+5=7/2=3.5~3). that was his policy we were told, or so we thought.

17 of us stayed on, including my seatmate whose average was a little below 3 (she was the highest among those in the smoke-up list). we prayed we'd get called more often to make up for the low scores. both of us were called once but that was not enough to get near the much-wished-for average of 2.

the final exam was difficult as expected. 4 essay questions to be analyzed using a certain framework or to be related to assigned readings. what was difficult about it were not the questions per se; it was the passing rate of 70, and the uber brilliant mind of our professor whose thoughts we could not possibly fathom.

i needed to pass the exam. so i stayed on until the proctor asked us to submit our papers—almost 4 grueling hours in all.

only 4 of us passed the final exam. out of 40, i got 29. passing score was 28. i was that close to getting a final grade of 5 for the first time in my life. i was ecstatic of course when i learned about it, although only after resigning my fate to getting a 5. luck was on my side i guess. or as my blockmates would joke: malakas kasi magdasal.

my seatmate got the highest in the exam (comeback queen). she did light an orange candle at st. jude.

i really should be happy for myself...for my seatmate...and for the four of us who passed. but inasmuchas i would want to, i can't.

i can't be happy because i know that the whole system is just so unfair. the rest of the class got 5's. two of my friends scored 27 in the finals, just one point shy of a 3.0 but they ended up getting a 5.0. in the finals. worse, they got a 5.0 in the final grade because the prof raised the passing grade from 3.5 to 3.0. that means we needed an average of 1 in the recit to pass if we get a 5 in the finals (that's just so impossible).

but the worst part of it all is that while the automatic 3 rule does not apply to us, it applies to others. one student from another block got a 3 even if he flunked the finals just because his recit is 1.5. my friend has almost the same class standing (the prof even praised her for giving the best answer ever to a question he's been asking for years) but she still got a 5. the difference? we were not his favorite block. if my friend's recollection is correct, the prof gives a 0.25-increment to his favorite block.

the sad thing is that these friends of mine, who have been studying just as hard as i did and who have even performed better than i did during the sem, will have to retake the whole subject just because they failed in the finals. in the words of one of my blockmates: "pasado ka nga the whole sem, bagsak ka lang sa finals, bagsak na lahat."

how can i be happy when to be happy about it is to condone the rotten system?

i am disappointed with our prof. disappointed because he is so brilliant yet coldhearted. disappointed because he is an advocate of rights of peasants and women, and yet he could not see the oppression he's inflicting on his students. disappointed because he is quick to point out what's wrong with the legal system, but he himself is blind to his own excesses.

grr...

in the end though, he is still the professor, we, his students. in a world were professors are gods, all we can do is hope and pray that their conscience bother them. (and that there is indeed such a thing as karma.)

ironically, injustice begins where the quest for equality starts.

quoting one of our professors: "this is the college of law, not of justice."

..........
absurd headline (c/o insider): mga dayuhan hinikayat na magparetoke para tumaas ang turismo sa bansa (calling dr. vicky. belo country na ba tayo?)

disturbing news: ortigas shoot-out. the video speaks for itself. overkill naman yun. nakahandusay na nga sa loob nga kotse, nilapitan pa, pinagbabaril. la pang id ang mga pulis, nakashorts at sneakers lang. hindi naman pala hot car. shux, ano na ba nangyayari sa'tin. something is just so wrong with things these days. i can't trust policemen anymore.

well, nothing surprising really. the president can't even be trusted.

pasukan na!

first day ng second sem ngayon...

excited, kinakabahan, happy.

..........
hope things go well!

work visit

i promised rhea i'll visit her at work one of these days. sunday seemed to be the most appropriate day (no bosses, less work, fewer people) and so i spent the whole afternoon there last sunday...just watching her fret over a lot of things (ang cute!). and for other purposes as well...(ok, ok, magbantay na rin kasi la pa naman akong mole dun...oo na, andun din si ms. mu hehe. joke lang yun ha.)

big news of the day: si gloria, nakuryente. inosente pala ang nahuli at hindi ang notorious na suspek.

there she goes again. in her haste to present the "achievements" of her administration, she and her people seemed to have forgotten the basics of verification. and she refuses to apologize. the gall!

oh well, no sense ruining a good day.

i stayed on pretending to be busy--tumulong nang konti sa pag-aayos, nagdial ng mga numero at bumili ng pagkain (na ayaw namang kainin--busog na raw kasi siya. hmmm...mukha ba kong nakakabusog?).

work there seemed endless for deskpersons like rhea, or was it just her? kung workaholic ako, i don't know kung ano pa siya hehe. at least ako pag gutom kumakain. i told her there's no sense dying out of hunger for a company who can easily fire you with a piece of paper. then again, i shouldn't have forgotten. it's rhea. and this isn't just about employment.

was supposed to stay only til 5 p.m. i told my brother and my cousin, who invited me to watch yet another pba game at araneta, that i'd catch up with them by 6 p.m. well, 6 p.m. came then 7, then 8, til they finally went home at 9 p.m. but i was still there, waiting for her to finish her work. and still trying--to no avail--to convince her to eat.

finally, at 11 p.m., she decided she's done (she's supposed to be out by 9!). i was really really hungry by then. how can i eat when she hadn't even eaten lunch! we took a late dinner at t. morato then headed home (to our different houses, just to make it clear). i could sense she's tired and drained but she has to wake up early the next day. wawa naman. ako nga, nanonood lang, nanghihina na sa gutom at sumasakit na ang ulo sa lamig ng aircon. pano pa siya?

ganun pala sa newsroom. taxing but fun. the adrenalin rush is always there--aatakehin ka nga raw sa puso.

ganun din naman sa basketball, heartstopping action ika nga. but given a choice between watching a pba game and staying inside a newsroom for hours even as a bystander doing nothing, i need not think twice. it's never easy to forget something you've loved all your life.

but at this point i harbor no illusions of leaving law school for a job in the media--no matter how tempting. though a part of me yearns to go out there and look for a story, i remind myself that for every minute i spend studying and attending class, i gain knowledge that i can use in the future. though i sorely miss and sometimes envy my friends who are out there working, i can't imagine leaving my new block behind. and though i cringe at the thought of having to make do with less time together for the next couple of years because law school simply won't allow me to see her every night, i also realize i can't exchange a moment of pleasure for lifelong bliss.

as i've said before, i will finish what i've started...or at least try to. unless law school throws me out of the window and closes its doors on me, i'm sticking it out here. this is something i want and love. and i don't want to squander the opportunity that so many people out there have been dying to get hold of.

..........
thanks rhea. every moment i've spent with you has been magical.

lampley saves the day for ginebra

sa wakas, natuloy rin ang panonood naming magkapatid at magpinsan ng pba. wednesday afternoon nang magkita kami sa cuneta (hindi pa talaga nagsabay). 5 pesos lang daw ang ticket sa general admission sabi ng kapatid ko kaya ang kuripot na kuya nanlibre. well, pati pagkain sagot ko na rin.

dahil nga 5 pesos lang ang ticket, walang matinong upuan. palipat-lipat kami, nang-iistorbo pa sa mga nakaupo sa bleachers, para makahanap ng magandang pwesto. alas singko pa lang, 90% full na ang cuneta. effective nga naman ang marketing strategy nilang ito. maglalaro rin kasi ang ginebra.

at dahil nga 5 pesos lang, nasa tuktok na kami. ok daw yun, kitang-kita buong court. eto naman si tanga, kinalimutan ang eyeglasses. all i could see were numbers running back and forth. i kept asking my brother kung sino si player 17, 7, 47...buti na lang sampu lang sila on court.

medyo uneventful ang match between alaska and red bull. red bull led during the 1st half pero tinambakan na ng alaska towards the end. maglalast 2 minutes na, gumawa pa ng eksena si pennisi. pano, he failed miserably to follow-up a shot kaya binalibag si allado, sending the poor guy crashing to the ground. (wawa naman, kakadonate, este kakabigay lang ng magarang bahay kay maricar de mesa). syempre, sumugod itong si allado pero si villanueva ang sinuntok (nakaharang kasi). sinuntok naman ni cruz si allado kaya labo-labo na. nagtayuan ang lahat. BOXING! BOXING! mga pinoy talaga violent.

na-eject tuloy itong si allado at cruz. si pennisi? parang walang nangyari. moral of the story: pag binalibag, wag gumanti and don't lose your poise. sabi nga ni tim cone: "he (allado) lost his poise for a minute." aba, miss universe ba ito?

by 7:30 p.m., nag-uumapaw na sa tao ang cuneta. lakas talaga ng powers nitong si caguioa. daming fans. tawag sa kanya, buwaya. sinosolo ang bola. but to his credit, he delivers naman e. kaya naman may nagsabi, wag naman buwaya. alligator naman. (duh?)

lamang ang ginebra halfway thru the game. sa halftime, would you believe andun na naman ang the speaks. as if the saturday concert were not enough, sinundan na naman nila kami. may pagkastalker din tong mga to no?

too bad the crowd didn't seem to like their music that much. nang kumantang "yeah, yeah," sagot nung nasa likod namin: vonel.

nakahabol din naman ang san miguel sa third quarter and led by more than 10 points going into the last few minutes of the fourth quarter. ginebra slowly inched closer hanggang sa apat na lang ang lamang nang mag-last 2 minutes.

nagpanic ang san miguel. tira nang tira mula sa three-point area; panay naman ang mintis. takbo agad ang mga gin kings sa kabilang dulo ng court. pasa...pasa...shoot...sablay.

hill (sanmig import) gets the rebound and makes a wild pass to racela at the other end of the court...oops, napasobra ata. racela runs after the ball...run, olsen, run...and olsen jumps over the lazy, err some press people at sumemplang dun sa harap ng ilang screaming fans.

balik sa ginebra ang bola. shoot...ayaw. shoot pa uli, ayaw. tapik...tapik...someone gets the ball at binato ang bola kay adducul. oops, ang sakit nun. teka, basketball pa ba to?

to make the long story short, lalo pang uminit ang laban nang pumasok ang shot ni rodney santos of ginebra. game tied at 72 with 59 seconds left. nabuhayan ng loob ang mga ginebra fans. GI-NEB-RA! GI-NEB-RA! GI-NEB-RA! Sa lakas nang sigaw, napaiyak tuloy ang bibong-bibo at cute na cute na little girl sa tabi namin. (ang bata-bata pa kasi, kung anu-ano na pinapainom.)

sa san miguel na uli ang bola. dala siguro nang matinding kaba, di pumasok ang shot ni dondon hontiveros. ginebra gets the rebound and the crowd goes wild. nagtayuan ang lahat. lalo pang lumakas ang cheer kahit pa tumawag ng time-out ang ginebra.

18 seconds left in the ballgame. hawak ni lampley (ginebra import) ang bola. nagdribble nang nagdribble at nagdribble uli for god knows how long. 5 seconds, 4 seconds, 3...lampley makes his move, throws the ball into the air...toink, toink as the ball hits the rim, at PUMASOK ang bola sabay tunog ng buzzer! naghiyawan uli ang mga tao. lampley saves the day for the gins! hindi naman pala siya lamp-a afterall.

what a way to end the game. what a way to end the night! alas diyes na, gutom na gutom na kami pero game na game pa rin.

finally, naenlighten din ako kung bakit the 5-peso seat near heaven was worth it. first time kong makakita live nang lumilipad na bote ng viva mineral water. bote na lang talaga dun kami umupo. bote nga hindi bote ng ginebra ang binato.

on the other hand, nung palabas na kami, siksikan at halos tulakan papalabas sa dami nang tao. kalahati ata ng male population andun na. ang tindi pa ng init. para kaming nileletson while marching down to hell. at ang amoy, hmmm, halu-halo. sabi nga ng kapatid ko, "ang lakas. di kaya ng tawas."

nanalo man ang ginebra at natalo ang san miguel, si danding pa rin ang yumayaman. aba, sa lakas ng benta ng viva mineral water, coke at purefoods tender juicy hotdog, di hamak na milyones na naman ang kinita.

ako naman, heto broke. 5 pesos nga lang ang ticket, 500 naman ang pagkain.

who cares anyway? ang importante, we had a blast. i never thought watching the pba could be this fun.

..........
Menk: PBA. Leban kung leban.

concert aftermath

i take my word back. nag-enjoy naman ako kahit papano kagabi. session road played suntok sa buwan (at least the songs didn't sound foreign anymore). then kitchie was there. and barbie.

was surprised to find out that some of the songs of the speaks were a bit familiar. may version nga sila ng bizarre love triangle. ok, so nakikanta na rin ako. naki-headbang? nah, didn't go that far.

pardon the previous post. pano ba naman kasi, i've never heard of the first few bands: kinky hooters (rhea: what kind of band would name itself as such?), join the club (my brother says they have 1 song which sounds like la lopez singing emo--err, what's emo?), rocksteady, etc... then again, kailan ba ako nakinig ng rock music? pop rock pwede.

the concert ended at 1 a.m. but of course, di kami umuwi kaagad. may star-gazing pa. :=) was with my cousins so hinintay ko pa ang kanilang photo-op. sa loob-loob ko, kawawang mga artista, walang choice kundi mag-oblige. sino ba kasing may sabing may right na ang mga tao na makipagpicture dahil lang artista sila? besides, tao lang din sila, napapagod.

pero nang magsimula nang magbilang...1,2...aba e kumaripas na rin ang takbo ko para mapasama. kung sa bagay, artista pa rin yun.

kaya naman nang magtext ako kay rhea at hindi nagreply...
j: (text) galit ka ba?
maya-maya, tumawag.
r: ba't naman ako magagalit?
j: di ka nagreply e.
r: nagtatrabaho po ako. may kasalanan ka no?
j: uhm, kinamayan ko si barbie kagabi.
r: sabi na nga ba guilty.
j: at nagpapicture kami. kay izza calzado din. pero sumama lang ako.
r: haha sige na magtatrabaho na ako.
j: sori na...

oh well, kapag guilty, wag na magtext.

..........
sarap ng sembreak. too bad di natuloy yung panonood ng pba game namin kanina. andun si kris aquino bwahaha. (joke lang ha. yung laro naman papanoorin namin siyempre.)

concert

i'm here at a rock concert at clamshell tent, intramuros. why i'm here? don't even bother to ask.

why i'm blogging? well, it's only the third opening act and my feet are tired already, my ears, well, masakit na. the only chair i could see here is that of pldt mydsl.

not that i'm bored to death. it's been fun. but not my kind of fun. plus, i should have known there ain't any chair in a rock concert. (stupid)

as to pldt: they're doing a lousy job so far. i think my pre-paid net account runs much faster than their broadband dsl.

..........
oh well, got to make the best out of the night.

tipsy, not drunk but ecstatic

the other day, i received one of the best remarks a prof has ever told me. sa likod ng bluebook ko sa crim:

"One of the joys of teaching is coming across a very well-written examination booklet--yours is!"

wow, lumulutang na ko sa ere. pasensya na, lakas ng hangin these days no? natuwa lang talaga ako. parang lahat ng pagod ko nagpay-off. i didn't know i have a criminal mind pala.

but that was just the start. magdamagang videoke/movie marathon/poker night after kina bok. linashing lang naman nila ako. we had this card game na kapag nakabunot ka ng King, pipili ka ng iinom. as usual, perennial ako ang pinapainom with matching cheering squad.

blockmates: sprite lang yan.
ako: bakit parang may something bitter?
blockmates: lemon lang.
(chorus: buti na lang tanga!)
ako: gulp, gulp

nakalimang turns yata ako with that weird sprite. kung mamalasin (o suswertehin) ka nga naman, alas pa nabunot ko. tequila! 2 beses pa. nang maubos ang tequila, vodka naman. pinagpapawisan na nga ako, nag-iinit pa. wala nang natirang kahihiyan sakin. di naman nagdilim paningin ko pero parang movie ang paligid ko. 24 (o 30?) frames per second. weird. they all felt so unreal.

anyhow, eto excerpts from the block email (courtesy of ryan b, formerly of kule):

block get-together at bok's: COMMENTARIES AND JURISPRUDENCE
FELONY NIGHT

case7: In re navallo. muli, nalasing na naman po si
jobert sa iced tea kaya nahumaling siya sa pagkuha ng
pictures, including pictures ng mga paa ng mga
tao. kinuhanan din ng litrato sila lora and bridge na
kunwari ay lusting over steve the muscleman. ang
naturang picture ang gagamitin sa cover ng album ni
steve entitled "bitter no more".

case9: navallo v. reyes et. al. sa isang card game cum
drinking session na pinangunahan ni quino as principal
by induction at sinegundahan ng lahat, particularly
ni bridget as principals by indispensable cooperation,
nalasing si jobert. everytime na mabunot ang card na
"king", ang nakabunot ay malayang pipili kung sino sa
grupo ang iinom ng shot ng vodka with sprite. sa isang
undeniable indication of conspiracy, lahat ng
nakabunot ng king ay si jobert ang pinaiinom.

case10: navallo v. reyes et. al. (part 2, a la
francisco v. house) muli, sa isang game na
pinangunahan ni quino as principal by induction at
sinegundahan ng lahat as principals by indispensable
cooperation, mas lalo pang nalasing ang lasing nang si
jobert. sa isang a la truth or dare na game, lahat ng
tao ay magsasabi ng isang bagay na nagawa na nila (o
hindi pa nila nagagawa) at lahat ng tao sa grupo na
hindi pa nakakagawa (o nakagawa na) nun ay
iinom. narito muli ang transcript:

conspirator: i have never performed ________
jobert: glug glug glug (umiinom)

conspirator: i have ______ somebody else's ears
jobert: glug glug glug (umiinom uli)

conspirator: i was able to _____ with somebody in a
public place
jobert: glug glug glug (umiinom pa rin)

gaya ng naunang game, the actions of the accused
demonstrate a unity of action geared towards the
common purpose of intoxicating jobert, which brings us
to the next case...

case11: people v. navallo. all hell broke loose sa
kwarto ni bok dahil sa videoke challenge na
pinangunahan ni jobert. salitan sa pagwawala este
pagkanta sila jobert, andre at martin. pero siyempre si
jobert pa rin ang nanguna dahil nga sa mitigating
circumstance of intoxication, na na-offset din ng
aggravating circumstance of performing a felony in a
place of worship. opo, na-transform ang kwarto ni bok
into a religious place dahil kumanta si jobert ng
isang religious song, although ayaw niyang maniwala
nung una. narito muli ang transcript:

videoke monitor: "gaya ng dati by gary valenciano"
ryan b: jobert religious song yan a
jobert: (lasing voice) hoy hindi naman yan religious
song no. hindi kaya hindi kaya.hindi yan religioush
shongg...
jobert: (kanta kanta kanta)
videoke monitor: (patapos na yung kanta) "panginoon,
ako'y nabulag ng mandarayang mundo/ ako ay patawarin
mo/ mula ngayon ang buong buhay ko'y iaalay sayo/
gamitin mo ako/ gaya ng dati"
jobert: (nagugulumihanan) ay, bakit nga may
"panginoon"?

but it's too late, jobert, it's too late.

..........
ang saya ng block overnight. sana nga ay patawarin ako sa mga kasalanan ko huhu.

I will never leave you

I will never leave you..

You are safe here in my arms
Never fear i'll be beside you
Feel my love, touching your soul
Holding you closer as i whisper to you

I will never leave you hold on tight
Promise to stay forever by your side
I will never leave you promise i
Stay forever i will never leave you behind

Stay with me and you will see
I will be the one you've been dreaming
I won't hurt the heart that you've given
And never be wounded in my arms i promise

I will never leave you hold on tight
Promise to stay forever by your side
And i will always love you promise i
Stay forever i will never leave you behind

And every moment, every minute, every hour of my life
I intend to live my whole life with you
I will be your home and live the same forever in my arms
And will make it through

I will never leave you hold on tight
Promise to stay forever by your side
I will never leave you promise i
Stay forever i will never leave you behind......

( hold on tight promise to stay forever by your side )
I'll be with you... whenever, whenever, whenever..
( and i will never leave you promise i )
Promise i stay forever
I will never leave you behind....

You are safe here in my arms
'coz i will never leave you
Leave you behind.....

..........
promises have long lost their meaning and forever's a long time. but at this very moment, this i know is true.

sembreak blues

and i thought i could sleep my way throughout the whole sembreak.

halfway through, i realized i can't be a couch potato. you see, i've positioned the tv and the dvd player right in front of my bed so i'd spend the whole day either sleeping or watching, but no, my conscience is killing me. i need to do something. i need to be productive. i need to be useful.

so i went out of the house a couple of times to do some errands (self-imposed) or to simply meet friends. watched corpse bride with blockmates but for some reason, classroom discussions keep haunting me. can there be a valid marriage between the living and the dead? it's void! no legal capacity, no consent, no solemnizing officer, no marriage license, no marriage ceremony. not one of the requisites present! "we are amongst the living, we must abide by their rules"--lex loci celebrationis? my god, it's sembreak. give me a break.

watched a couple of movies at home. it was even more traumatic.
mr. & mrs. smith--attempt to kill the spouse can be a ground for legal separation
naked weapon--madame x and the china doll assassins' crimes can be aggravated by the circumstance of price, promise or reward
unfaithful--killing your wife's lover would have been justified if you caught them in the act...
kill bill 1--retaliation is not self-defense

i watch the news and it's all there. eo 464, cpr, eo 453...consti exam? dokyu--child trafficking. ayoko na, mababaliw na ako.

what makes it even more traumatic is that they all remind me that i'll soon be receiving a failing grade by the 26th because for sure, i flunked the finals. hay...3 has never been beautiful a grade.

with boredom slowly creeping in, i turn around and look for something to read. i don't want to touch law books, at least not now. but i have yet to borrow a copy of harry potter 1 and start reading while everyone's so excited about the 4th movie coming soon. so i looked at my shelf and tada...readings in social science II. plato to durkheim. that's what's keeping me busy today. oh well, til i get bored. if i'm really bored to death, i might as well read my brother's nursing books. added knowledge don't you think? then i might as well enrol in a nursing course and go abroad and earn big bucks. nah, i like it here in the philippines.

one thing i missed but just can't get myself to doing is writing and doing field work. updating this blog took me days, only to decide in the end that i'll just write 3 words. tulog! tulog! tulog! so many things to write about but no idea where to start.

yesterday, while on our way to the supreme court for a tour, i saw microwave vans along plaza miranda. ah, another rally i surmised. last time i was in the supreme court, there was also a big rally. the issue back then was fpj's citizenship. i remember getting off at ust, running after a producer of probe. my job was to bring the tapes as close as possible to her since she was bringing the camera. until then, i didn't know sprint lessons could be useful to journalists.

how i miss those days. i was thinking of doing fieldwork yesterday since our tour didn't push through. but for whom? i would have volunteered to assist anyone doing a coverage. but i didn't know anyone so i decided to go home. aboard the lrt, i saw smoke rising from the welcome rotonda area. would have been a metro story.

around this time last year, i was in surigao for the thesis. hay... i miss the whole thing...conceptualizing the story, researching, setting appointments, conducting interviews, writing the article... hope i'm still capable of doing it. we barely have writing assignments in law school. if there are, research is confined to cases, laws, and other things in the library. should be easy for us, although not quite. i still miss going out, getting lost and meeting people.

i could start writing about happy things =) but unlike celebrity crushes, real things i need to keep for myself hehe. =) all i know is: kung ikaw ay masaya tumawa ka...

..........
birthday pala ng brother ko ngayon. la akong regalo sa kanya. uso pa ba yun?

sembreak at last!

tulog! tulog! tulog!

..........
zzzz...

monthsary

survived 1 month in law school, and counting...

1 month in law school is incomparable to a sem in undergrad, at least in terms of study load. i never knew i could extend the limits of dorkiness, staying up til 3 a.m. everyday trying to figure out how justices, known only by their family names, determined the fate of erring people.

some things i learned?

you study and study but you'd wish you won't get called...you learn to pray in the process

studying increases the appetite.

some profs can be endearing even if they shout at you, belittle your capabilities and make you feel stupid.

i've learned some jokes, finally, albeit legal jokes at that. (example: mahilig talaga ang mga pinoy sa lutuan. baboy, manok, baka, isda, pati nga eleksyon niluluto!--naisip ko lang to ha, didn't copy this from somebody else. text me for feedback, i.e. corny!)

and 5's don't hurt anymore (promise!).

thank God for blockmates. they make life less difficult. (that goes for old ones too, miss ko na kayo.)

..........
law school is so high school...only in your dreams

an avril song

"Fall To Pieces"

I looked away
Then I look back at you
You try to say
The things that you can't undo
If I had my way
I'd never get over you
Today's the day
I pray that we make it through

Make it through the fall
Make it through it all

[Chorus:]
And I don't wanna fall to pieces
I just want to sit and stare at you
I don't want to talk about it
And I don't want a conversation
I just want to cry in front of you
I don't want to talk about it
Cuz I'm in Love With you

You're the only one,
I'd be with till the end
When I come undone
You bring me back again
Back under the stars
Back into your arms

[Chorus]

Wanna know who you are
Wanna know where to start
I wanna know what this means

Wanna know how you feel
Wanna know what is real
I wanna know everything, everything

[Chorus without last line]

[Chorus]

I'm in love with you
Cuz i'm in love with you
I'm in love with you
I'm in love with you

***

i seldom like songs na di ko pa naririnig. for some strange reason, this one rocks. lyrics pa lang nababasa ko, i'm into it already. pano kaya pag narinig ko?

it's mushy nga. at di masyadong subtle. but i like it still. tagos.

..........
ayayay pag-ibig...

rest

will be away for a few days. i'm going through an operation on thursday. will be admitted to the hospital tomorrow afternoon. hope to be home by saturday.

i'm not quite comfortable sharing the details of the surgery. it has something to do with the intestines but i think it's not that big. at least i feel well despite occasional discomforts these past few months (or maybe year).

the doctor said i may have to rest for a week or two after the operation, just in time for classes. hope everything turns out fine.

the operation is costly. there goes my chance of going to the wyd. but nothing is impossible i guess, so i may still have both my colon and cologne (germany), as one friend joked. (of course my condition isn't that serious.) isaw party daw after.

i guess this is the "parusa" for all the stress and the "pabaya" these past few years. or maybe for my wickedness. or katakawan. the bright side is that i get to rest, for a valid reason.


..........
sana hindi masakit.

disturbed

came across this article:

Promising Author Egolf Kills Himself at 33

LANCASTER, Pa. - Tristan Egolf, a political activist and author whose first novel at age 27 won him comparisons to William Faulkner and John Steinbeck, has died. He was 33.

Egolf died May 7 of a self-inflicted gunshot wound in a Lancaster apartment, said G. Gary Kirchner, Lancaster County coroner.

Egolf had shown signs of depression over the past 18 months, said Michael Hoober, a family therapist in Lancaster and friend of Egolf.

"He pushed the envelope wherever he went," Hoober said. "His creativity was always right in front of him, but somewhere in there it started to fall apart."

more...

why would anyone so young and so promising decide to kill himself?

i get disturbed each time young people die because of something that's out of their control. but hearing about young people killing themselves is even more perplexing. nakapanlulumo.

i don't know egolf. i haven't even read his books. i don't know what was in his mind a few moments before he pulled that trigger. maybe he did have his own share of problems. maybe he felt he was losing his creativity, his ingenuity, his talent. maybe he felt it was the end of the line for him, so i can never judge him.

pero sayang. had he chosen to live, he could have done more good.

but what really struck me about this story is the fear that i might end up like him. i'd like to think i know how to handle failures. i'd like to believe that i will never do something unthinkable as killing myself. but i can never know for sure.

things are going well these days but tomorrow is still uncertain. i dread the thought that one day i will find myself depressed, disappointed and dismayed at all the things happening around me, with no love left even for myself that i will actually decide to pull that trigger or jump off a building.

i just wish people will see the brighter side of life and not dwell on their miseries. it's a choice really. i hope i'll make the right one.


..........
i have to find solace in Him

hay...

i feel so used and abused. and lost.

..........
i just need someone to talk to.

milagro

i left the house 6 am yesterday resigned to the fact that i'm no longer going to the world youth day. i had to shell out 110 euros for the reg fee due yesterday. e kahit 500 pesos wala ako sa wallet ko.

to my surprise, pera ang lumapit sa'kin. a friend of mine was literally handing me part of the sum needed. he was willing to lend it to me. at first nag-aalangan talaga ako coz san naman ako kukuha nung remaining sum? my friends told me to ask this other friend of ours. aba, in 30 mins, solved na problem ko! may pambayad na ko.

kaya ngayon, baon ako sa utang. at some other time and in some other situation, i wouldn't have accepted the money. san ako ng pambayad?

if it were not for the chance to meet the pope, to see cologne and 3 other cities, to go out of the country for the first time, to meet young people from different countries--a chance that might not happen again--i wouldn't have taken the risk.

it helps that should we fail to raise the amount for the plane fare, we'll get full refund so i can safely return the money to the owners. but i'm really hoping to raise enough funds to go there.

so i started scouting for part-time work (the guy who asked inquirer not to employ him is now looking for a job, hmmm...). i asked the guy i was referring to in my previous post (who was willing to pay too much...i don't know if he will still though) and he said he'll give me an editing job. then i plan to go back to that foreign exchange program to write for them.

i'm willing to work my way for this but as i've said, i'll simply spare my family and relatives from this. in fact, they don't even know that i'm considering going to cologne. they thought i was backing out because of the cost.

but this is too good a chance to pass up. as that friend who offered to lend me money said, if there's anything to blame for not going to cologne, it's not the lack of money but the lack of will. so ayun, pakapalan na ng mukha. bahala na how to raise the plane fare.

another friend said what happened yesterday was probably a sign i should be there in the wyd. maybe. sana nga makapunta.

anyway, i've heard this story about a girl writing everyone she knew and posting all over her blog that she needed money to go to another international youth event (was it world youth day?) she got more money than she asked for from complete strangers, some coming from the middle east. will this happen to me? hmm...wishful thinking.

i'm just so tired right now. came home 12 mn from a leadership seminar my org gave to youth leaders in pampanga. i'm off early tomorrow (or is it later?) 6 am to malate church to meet some folks. it's 2:30 am and i'm still blogging. good luck to me.


..........
hindi umulan ng pera pero pera lumapit sa'kin. 'yang mga may work d'yan, baka naman pwede niyo kong tulungan hehe.

decision '05

haven't received any call yet from pdi. so i'm still very much floating status right now. last i've heard, my friends will soon start working. so glad for them. (libre ha! invite n'yo ko pag nagstarbucks kayo after your regular meetings.)

as if that weren't enough, tumawag ang gma. exam daw bukas. sa sobrang bilis, di ako nakatanggi. argh.

truth is, a part of me wants to work there, if not for the obligation sa inquirer. tv offers unparalleled impact on the lives of ordinary people. well, gusto ko rin magwork sa inquirer because it offers a different but a more familiar experience. gusto ko talagang magsulat ever since at kilala ko na ang ibang tao dun. tsaka, kung papogihan lang din ang labanan sa tv, wag na lang. wala akong balak mag-artista.

kaya para di na ko malito: law school na lang (anong reasoning kaya to?) nah, i've always wanted to be a lawyer also. hindi dahil gusto kong makipagdebate, pero dahil sa nakikita kong malaking papel na ginagampanan ng batas at ang pagpapatupad nito sa ating lipunan.

laws are supposed to ensure justice and order in society. laws are there so people's rights may be protected to the fullest possible manner without trampling on anybody else's rights. and laws are supposed to be directed toward what is true and what is good.

the problem is, hindi ganun ang nangyayari. the whole judicial process is meant to seek out the truth but it seems that everything boils down to having the best lawyers on your side. and who gets to have them? siyempre ang may pera. so pera-pera na lang pala ang batas.

that's a hasty generalization of course. pero that's how most people see it. and it's sad because i do think there are still good lawyers out there who still believe that law is a noble profession, the practice of which therefore should remain highly ethical at all times, if only to show respect to the craft. the purpose should always be public service and the discovery of the truth.

wag naman sana ako madisillusion this early. come on, i still have four years of endless "dates" with the constitution, the supreme cout rulings, the revised penal code, etc... dorky days will soon be here again!

pero the fact remains, sayang pa rin yung chance na magwork sa inquirer o gma.

***

good news: got this chance to join the 2005 world youth day in germany in august this year. bad news: i'm about to lose it. ang mahal kasi!

where will i find 110 euros (close to 8t) by friday to pay for reg? where will i get 1,300 us dollars to pay for the fare? there's a fund-raising campaign of course, but how am i supposed to raise enough for myself and for the others who are joining?

i've thought of asking my parents but here's the problem: with relatives getting seriously sick on my father's side while the businesses of my other relatives on my mother's side are having rough sailing, how can i turn a blind eye and ask for such a huge sum?

you see, while i feel so strongly about seeing the new pontiff (after beating my breast during john paul II's funeral for letting go of the chance to meet him 2 years ago), i still could not bring myself to spend that much for my own personal religious experience. true, the event could be life-changing but wouldn't using that money instead to help those in need be more christian? i don't wanna judge. siguro i'm just sourgraping kaya i'm saying all these. or maybe i lack the supernatural outlook. please help me see.

well, i have until friday to decide.


..........
choices...why'd you always have to make one?

dream jobs

there's something about the un that makes me want to work there. hmmm...di ko alam. is it the thought that people from different cultures are coming together to work for world peace? (come on, look at iraq and how the un was inutile in stopping the us from waging war.) or it must be the movie i watched recently (ganda kasi ni nicole kidman hehe).

so ano ba talaga kuya? will you be a journalist, a lawyer, a teacher or an ambassador to the un? a e, pwede bang maranasan lahat? talk about career crisis. just when i thought i had everything planned out.

got this photo from a friend who's in new york right now (thanks a lot). i told her iphophotoshop ko so eto na nga. ang kapal talaga! anyway, i could sense makakarating din ako dyan sa building na yan...maybe as a tourist first, then as a man with a mission (of blowing up the building haha...terrible...wala po akong balak maging terrorist, just to be clear about it).

this world affairs thing has really gotten me interested recently. not that i know so much about it (i certainly would want to study world politics), but it has made me want to work for cnn or bbc. not just for the perks of travelling and getting to other places but also to gain a global perspective on different things. well, it also helps that i'm fascinated with cnn's huge screen, yung nahahati haha (i sound so bobo and frivolous). saw one in pldt last year. magkano daw? 25 million. in ten years i said haha.

or baka mag-al jazeera na nga lang ako. total, my parents are in qatar and from the looks of it, hahabol sa kanila brother ko when he's done with his nursing studies. astig nga yun, baka mainterview ko pa si bin laden.

but nah, i think i have a reason to stay in the philippines. well, maybe reasons.

anyway...may isa pa akong dream job. agent 007. talk about my favorite fictional character. and it's not for the girls ha, but for the thrill of getting caught, tortured and killed. i don't know what's with sleuthing and spying (napaghahalata bang stalking is my favorite hobby?) i'm not quite comfortable though about the idea of breaking people's trust just so you could get classified info for your country. but if it's for the sake of saving the world... hay... messianic complex.

pero ang cool kasi ng gadgets ni james bond e. astig pa ng suit. san ka nakakita ng taong naka-coat and tie na umaakyat ng bubong. ayos pa ang mga car nya. and the hair! hindi nagugulo. gel ba gamit niya?

talk about worldly things. i might as well fuss about them on this blog and forget them afterwards than think about them the whole time. call that stress relief. nah, it's wishful thinking. or daydreaming on this hot summer day.

anyway, things are looking good these days. i've always thought it feels strange na walang ginagawa so i've been looking for some things for me to do; don't want to keep myself idle. if it's not going out of the house, writing is taking most of my time. writing as in blogging, sending e-mail, but definitely not the dorky writing type.

i hope to get some reading materials pretty soon. leisure reading. any suggestions? or good movies? foreign movies at that. chungking express? other wong kar wai movies?

talk about movies...wag na lang. basta, manonood ako ng movie pretty soon.

..........
not a man of the world, but a man in the middle of the world!

inspired

I'll Never Go
Erik Santos

You always ask me those words I say
And telling me what it means to me

REFRAIN
Every single day, you always act this way
For how many times I've told you
I love you for this is all I know

Come to me and hold me and you will see
The love I give for you still hold the key

[Repeat REFRAIN]

CHORUS
I'll never go far away from you
Even this sky will tell you that I need you so
For this is all I know (I know)
I'll never go far away from you

[Repeat 2nd stanza]

REFRAIN
Every single day (every single day), you always act this way
For how many times I've told you
I love you for this is all I know

[Repeat CHORUS]

AD LIB

CHORUS
I'll never go (never go) far away from you
Even this sky will tell you that I need you so
For this is all I know (I know)
I'll never go far away from you

(I'll never go far away from you)
Even this sky will tell you that I need you so
For this is all I know (I know)
I'll never go far away from you

(I'll never go, never go away)
(I'll never go away, never go)


..........
lagi kong naririnig these past few nights. parang gusto kong magkamtv nito. hmmm...

happy, sad, indifferent

the lecture today was probably the best so far. well, it wasn't really a lecture. t'was more of a workshop really.

i divided the students into groups and made them evaluate sample paraphrases and precis (comm1 memories). that sort of broke the ice since i made sure they get mixed and that they mingle with each other.

then, i made them speak for 2 minutes in front, impromptu, ala comm3. game naman sila. i divided them into pairs and they were to talk about their partners. t'was fun. etong panalong intro: my friend here must really be tired coz she's been running in my mind all the time (haha, bumenta na to ewan ko ba't ako natawa. corny people unite!)

the energy in the room was so high we went into overtime. may bonding session pa daw sila tom, the last day of the seminar. am glad they're finally at ease with each other, wala nang factions. that should help them when they go to taiwan. at sana may pasalubong sila for me after four years...

***

on a sad note, found out that the breast cancer of a cousin of mine has gotten worse. she's only in her late twenties and she has a little baby girl. worse, hindi pa ata niya alam, pati rin family niya, coz my relatives are so afraid may mangyari sa mother nya.

the last time i saw her was last january, sa surigao. her hair had started to grow by then since matagal na rin siyang naoperahan. dun ko lang nalaman that she had cancer. kala ko nga ok na siya but she's now in a hospital in cebu. kumalat na raw ang cancer cells. the doctors said she has 2 years to live. i need all your prayers.

prayers also for another uncle of mine suffering from brain tumor. i last met him in surigao last october. he was diagnosed with the disease nung nandito na ko sa manila.

i remember last november, i met one of my uncles, so mother's side naman, in surigao. we haven't met for the longest time so it came as a surprise even to him na nakihitch ako sa motorcycle he was driving. di pa nga nya ako nakilala at first; had to introduce myself. sabay pa kaming nagpunta sa cemetery kasi all souls' day nun.

that meeting was probably the first and the last. two weeks after, nasa manila na ako when i received a text msg narrating how he died. he was a policeman kasi and he was responding to an alleged bank heist, kaya umakyat siya sa bubong. he got electrocuted and he fell off the roof, basag ulo nya.

he was only in his late 30s with 3 kids pa. ang masaklap, false alarm daw. walang robbery.

ang common denominator nilang tatlo: nameet ko sila in the course of doing my thesis. sila yung tipong matagal ko nang hindi nakikita and when we finally met, i had no inkling of the things that were to happen to them. hay...buhay.

***

on a completely different story, someone called me up today. nagulat ako coz paiba-iba ng number. international call pala. si ann.

si ann. the -ex who never was. the long-time crush that never became mine, coz someone always got in the way. in short, the girl who got away. and for the longest time, the yardstick, the barometer, the ruler (it helps na literally matangkad siya).

all the while, i was thinking nasa cebu pa siya. when she got back from texas last january, i happened to be in cebu a few days after. ang hirit ng friend ko, "grabe jobert, nagpunta ka talaga ng cebu para makita siya (not true)." but we never met; she was with her bf, na matagal na ring hindi niya nakasama. who was i to get in the way?

so i told her i can wait. i honestly didn't know what i meant when i said that. was i waiting na maging free na siya? or was i simply waiting for the chance to see her? now, i'd say it was the latter.

matagal-tagal rin kaming nag-usap: 42 minutes. (nagpapaphotocopy ako sa sc when she called. nakasakay na ko ng jeep, nakababa na sa may q ave mrt, magkausap pa rin kami.) napanaginipan daw kasi niya ako the past 3 nights, and the circumstances weren't that good. umiiyak daw ako, although for an unknown reason. di raw siya nakatulog.

i told her buhay naman ako. that should keep her worries at bay.

but the really noteworthy thing about the whole experience--i felt nothing. wala na kong maibubuga, wala na kong maramdaman...

ewan. it felt like i was talking to a friend whom i haven't talked to for a long time. kinikilig ba ako? hindi, hindi na. in fact, i was trying so hard to sound chummy, coz i thought i sounded dry.

hindi ko alam. siyempre natutuwa ako to get the call. but somehow, something was missing. and i knew it wasn't there. kung ano yun, i'll figure out.

anyway, she'll start studying this fall. pag nagkataon, sabi ko, sabay pa kaming gagraduate. well, mauuna siguro ako dito by a few months, if things go well.

life there daw is tough. pero i know kaya nya yan. i know her life story well enough--pangtelenovela, i tell you.

does this mean i'm over her? maybe. yeah, it should. the mere fact that i'm writing about it should be a sign. (you see, i keep the intimate details only to myself. all the showbiz ones, i write them down on this blog.)

but you never know. life has its own surprises.

lovelife talaga o (or the lack thereof), sakit sa puso. pati sa ulo.

..........
it's over.

floating status

final interview kanina sa inquirer with the hr manager. things went smoothly at first. then he asked me where i see myself 5-10 years from now. so sinabi ko na rin sa wakas. he asked me if i've made my decision. i said yes.

after several questioning, sabi niya, "you find yourself in a dilemma." huh? uh-oh. "we're in some kind of technicality here."

pinipilit ko sarili ko ngumiti. "sir, i'm not getting employed. i'm going to study." "i understand, but the company has vacancies..." i could almost hear him cite the clause in the contract stating that PDI scholars are required to work for a year. buti na lang di na nya sinabi pero what the, ganun din ibig niyang sabihin.

to be fair though, he delayed judgment and promised to consult with the research division head. tatawagan daw ako this week. floating status muna. whew! *cross fingers*

on a positive note, nakausap ko sec ni mr yambot before i left. although medyo tinatakot-takot na nya ako with the possibility of paying 40t kung di ako matutuloy sa PDI, sabi naman niya she'll talk to him about it. baka daw pumayag. baka.

hay...the perils of being tied up to a scholarship. pero salamat pa rin inquirer. i have absolutely no reason not to want to work for PDI, except nga lang in this very rare instance. sabi ko nga, kung magpapaemploy na rin lang ako, sa inquirer na. it's just that, i'm not up for employment right now...tsaka na lang.

..........
guyito trivia: ang pinakamalaking guyito na nakadisplay sa ground floor ng inquirer office sa makati ay nagkakahalaga ng 75t pesos. ang mahal! ang bigat pa. 5 tao ang kelangan para buhatin 'to.

ang hirit ng taga-hr: if you're planning to impress someone with the big guyito, not a good idea. ang tanong: ba't naman guyito ang bibilhin ko? how...unromantic!

english anyone?

finally started the english lecture this afternoon at ua&p.

i was a bit nervous at first. these kids are graduates of quesci, phisci and st. jude afterall so they are definitely above your average high school students. plus, they passed a 4-year full scholarship to a university in taiwan. maseswerte na, matatalino pa!

on top of these, the lecture was in english so i had to psyche myself up to keep myself from stammering and my tongue from slipping. you never know when your bisaya accent will kill you.

but as it turned out, the lecture went really went. the moment i stepped on the podium, it felt like comm3 days again (without ms yebron of course). i don't know, i just felt at home and at ease.

it helped that the students were very receptive and participative, too. after 30 minutes of introduction (we should know each other, shouldn't we?), we had a one-hour discussion on reading. we spent the next hour doing boardwork (ala-ma'am carlos hehe) but they were still very much into the discussion when we ended at around 6:30 p.m. cool!

mukhang may natutunan naman ata sila, pati ang ilang parents.

sarap ng feeling after. i felt contented; t'was as if i accomplished something. hay...the sense of fulfillment--one thing i'll surely miss about tutorials. (hope my tutees will do well this coming year without me.)

tomorrow, we'll continue with the writing lecture. then, public speaking on thursday (who has the red comm3 book? pahiram asap). it's on to research on friday, the last day of the seminar.

i hope all lectures in the next few days will go smoothly as it did this afternoon. it's always nice to meet young bright people. hope they do well in taiwan.

speaking of tomorrow, bukas na ang final interview ko sa inquirer. and i thought lawrence and i were off the hook. buti si lawrence he lost his phone so di siya makontak ni ma'am christy. (cy pala will start on monday!)

pano ko kaya sasabihin tom sa hr manager na, sir, i plan to take further studies (na hindi nila ako pagbabayarin ng 40t?). hmmm...magpapraktis na ako tonight. wish me luck!

by some stroke of luck, may nag-ooffer sakin ng part-time editing job na 10t a month. i don't know if seryoso sya or if seseryosohin ko rin, hmmm...i told him you pay too much sir. buong sweldo na yan ng full-time cub reporter sa inquirer a!

i don't really want to give my word yet coz i might not be able to live up to it. i heard 16 hours a day daw ang aralan sa law school.

hindi pa nga ako nakakabalik dun sa exchange student program where i write part-time. they were asking kung monthly ba daw o per article ang gusto kong rate. i told them i have yet to adjust sa law school.

i just want to be a good student this time. wag na munang masyadong extra-curriculars, except the stuffs i can't afford to give up.

i owe it to everyone, mostly to Him, to do well in law school. after that, let's see what will happen.

..........
for the meantime, excited na kong magprepare ng ppt at hand-outs for tomorrow. i just love teaching! (di ko na alam profession ko...basta, babalikan ko ang media--news, hindi showbiz.)

sick

it must have been the food i ate. it must be days of lipas-gutom.

whatever it is, i spent the whole afternoon yesterday throwing up. i must have vomited around 15 times and i was really feeling weak. i kept coming back to the cr, my head was spinning, and i felt like collapsing already.

my mother and lola were giving me all sorts of stuff. pinainom na ko ng kape, which i threw up also. then, simeco, loperamide, at kung anu-ano pa. sabi pa ng lola ko, uminom daw ako ng apdo ng sawa (python's spleen). what the?

sa loob-loob ko, hindi po ako guinea pig so i asked them to call my tita who's a doctor. the medicines she gave me did make me feel better until night fell.

dumating naman isang kamag-anak namin. pinahilot ako. ang gamit: herbal oil na may halong tuba-tuba leaves and bark. it smells really bad, not to mention nakakastain siya sa damit. but what can i do? kelangan daw lumabas ang lamig sa katawan...

pero ganun din, i threw up 3 more times kinagabihan. but i did feel better, kahit nanghihina pa rin.

joke nga ng uncle kong priest, gusto ko na ba daw magpa sta. lana (anointing of the sick). sabi ko, grabe naman, mabubuhay pa ko no. sabi niya, para naman daw yun sa may sakit and not necessarily for the dying.

so i'm here, stuck sa bahay. i'm supposed to have lunch with the organizers of a lecture i'm part of set to start today. but i have to beg off. rest muna baka mapano pa.

..........
i feel weak

baguio

i went to baguio thinking it'll be one of those usual baguio trips again. sight-seeing. picture-taking. plus, a welcome break from the summer heat. pero mali pala ako...medyo.

the day after we arrived, we went on a hike somewhere near kennon road to get to the foot of what they call the "hydro" falls. it was a 20-30 minute trek kung saan kinailangan naming tumawid sa isang hanging bridge, sa ilog at sa sandamakmak na kabatuhan. it was surprisingly fun, hopping from one boulder to another. at times, mapapa-rock climbing ka pa just to get to the other side.

but the trek was worth it. the view near the falls was a sight to behold. ang lamig pa ng hangin. (weird nga e, nasa baguio na nga kami, naghahanap pa rin ng malamig!) pero hindi pa dun natapos ang aming adventure.

may tatlong layer ang falls. i thought magsiswimming na kami sa foot nun pero, umakyat pa kami to get to the second one. the climb was really steep. para sa isang first-timer na katulad ko, di ko alam kung paano ako nakaakyat at nakababa. had to grab the nearest plants, rocks at kung ano pang pwedeng kapitan to keep myself from slipping.

when we finally reached the top, i remember shouting, are we crazy or what? nakakalula ang taas ng aming kinalalagyan. konting galaw lang, alam kong mahuhulog na kami. i could almost imagine myself falling off the cliff...bye bye cruel world.

buti na lang at nakababa naman kami ng maayos. nakapagswimming din sa wakas para matanggal ang dumi at kati sa katawan. had cuts all over my hands and legs.

we spent the rest of the trip going around baguio--sa camp john hay, botanical gardens, the mansion, sa cathedral, sa grotto, at baguio city country club. it's my third time there already but i'm still surprised andami ko pa palang di napuntahan. ganda ng sm baguio. di ganun kalaki but it does look like a castle from afar, towering over the whole city--at least hindi mukhang box unlike the usual. from its roofdeck, we saw baguio at night. cool!

we went home feeling bitin. some other time na lang uli siguro. now it's back to the scorching heat of manila.


..........
buti na lang sumama ako.

leaving again

i'm set to leave for baguio today but i'm having second thoughts...

just turned in an outline for a lecture i'm supposed to give next week to a group of hs grads who are going to taiwan on a college scholarship. an outline which, btw, i crammed last night and early today because of this very bad habit of procrastinating...

also, i haven't fixed my requirements for law. plus, it's limee's 40th day (i dunno how to call it) on the 29th, e friday night pa dapat ang balik namin.

tsaka, kararating lang ni mama last friday at eto, lalayas na naman ako.

i haven't even packed my things yet, and here i am blogging haha.

well, it's been quite a while since i last posted so i promised myself i'll write a quick post.

graduation last sunday went well, although it was very, very tiring. 6:30 a.m. ba naman ang calltime for college grad then 3 p.m. for college grad. ang init pa especially during the luncheon. nakakapagod talaga. the first thing i did when i went home was to sleep (after eating of course) kahit andaming tao sa bahay...

funny how graduation felt like just one of those days...actually, i thought it was just like my high school graduation. i had butterflies in my stomach of course before the program started but after that, everything felt fine. not a hint of nostalgia. none at all. in fact, it felt like we were just practicing for graduation hehe...

it was fun though. we spent most of the time chatting throughout the ceremony, especially during the university grad. sa dami ba naman ng sinabitan ng medalya: 500+ cum laude, 120+ magna cum laude, at 10 summa cum laude, aabutin ka talaga ng gabi sa kakatunganga.

buti na lang katabi ko si kate. kung alam lang daw namin na nasa lilim ang mga summa (they were seated on the stage sheltered from the heat of the sun), pinagsikapan na lang daw sana namin. ang dami pang seats o, sabay turo sa monoblocks sa stage.

oo nga sabi ko. pero nung nalaman namin na mananatiling nakatayo ang mga summa while the rest of the honorees sa college nila ay sasabitan ng medal, wag na lang. halos isang daan ata ang sinabitan sa maskom. wawa naman sila pam at tere, nakatayo dun sa stage katabi si chancellor cao (it's the standing part, not the chancellor), ang sakit kaya nun sa paa!

well, anyway, tapos na rin ang graduation sa wakas. sa ngayon di pa nagsisink-in dahil ang dami pang ginagawa. one of these days, i should start missing the maskom people.

for the meantime, pag-iisipan ko muna kung tutuloy ako sa baguio...

..........
watchathink?

counting the days

ang saya ng remaining days namin sa naga. we spent saturday night at chili peppers with some beer and pulutan. excursion naman sa isang hot spring (na may ice cold river kung saan kami nag-ala tabing ilog) on sunday. night swimming the next two nights then on to our presentation for our hosts before we left on wednesday night.

things to miss about naga: halu-halong may mangga na 5 pesos lang, pinyang maliliit, at siyempre, who’d forget the embudo? oo nga pala, si ate jenny and her indian mangoes.

got back in manila early thursday morning. just when i thought makakapagpahinga na ko, di pa pala tapos ang mga kelangang gawin! i needed to pay for the clearance so pumila ako sa pnb cashier for almost an hour only to find out the next day that i needed to pay for the transcript also, so balik na naman ako. hay...

but things are really going well these days. i found out that two of my closest friends are graduating magna. both rhea and lawrence made it! of course, kate is also magna. cy almost made it but even if she didn't, i know she deserves it.

pam, by the way, will deliver the speech during the college grad (sorry pam for announcing it; hope you won't mind hehe...congrats!) while tere will give the speech at the univ grad. wow, ang galing naman ng maskom. nah, ang galing ng batch this year. mantakin mo, 10 summa from diliman alone! whew!

sa kaps din, all four of us graduating guys are finishing magna. astig!

not that the honors are the mere measure of excellence, pero i just knew this batch was something hehe. i'm sure the graduates will go places. so to all of us, congratulations!

***

maiba ako. while in naga, i received this email from sir alcuin of the inquirer. kinilabutan ako when i was reading it. it started this way...

"it has come to my attention that you mentioned my name
in your blog in a rather unflattering light. may i
know the circumstances to these comments? how and why
have i been referred to as "the dreaded" ..."

uh-uh. what did i do? i searched my archives and i found an entry, about a year ago pa yun, regarding a friend's assignment sa aguinaldo. sir alcuin happened to be the reporter at medyo nabanggit ko ang bargaining session ni lawrence at ni sir gerry. our fault really, kasi nakinig kami sa mga rumors before about him. kaya ako naman, sinulat ko "the dreaded" even without having met sir alcuin. ayun, i never thought blogging could get me into trouble.

so i explained to him the circumstances ng pagkabanggit ng pangalan niya and apologized na rin for "not getting the other side of the story" hehe. buti na lang mabait siya at sa reply niya, nagpasalamat pa siya for my answering his query. pwede pa nga daw akong humingi ng advise sa kanya on journ-related matters, basta wag lang math. whew! nabunutan ako ng tinik.

hay, the perils of blogging. naalala ko tuloy yung mga pinagsusulat ko dito. tumitindig balahibo ko habang binabasa ko ung mga previous posts, lalo na yung tungkol kay ms mu. did i sound obsessed, starstruck or what? ang babaw ng mga posts ko, some made no sense at all except to entertain and titillate the minds of the readers. hay...sabi ko na nga ba this blog is showbiz kaya dapat hindi sineseryoso. well, maybe from now on, baka maging serious na to.

come to think of it, it was a blessing in disguise na rin kasi i found out mabait naman pala si sir alcuin. i actually met him dun sa isang pdi lecture and he seemed nice naman, malayo sa mga kwento. he puts on a serious mask daw kasi while at work.

that somehow made my day. mahirap kasing may kagalit ka, o kaya may galit sa'yo. kung paiiralin ko ang insensitive me, i'll just ignore it so wawa 'yung galit pa rin dahil di ko man lang alam na galit siya haha. but i never bear grudges against anyone so the burden is theirs really (i'd like to think wala naman sigurong galit sa'kin no...speak up people or forever hold your peace hehe).

***

i recently received a message from a friend thanking me for inspiring her these past few years. i didn't know i had inspired her because all i did was to do my best in whatever i do. but i was really happy dahil nakatulong ako kahit papaano sa kanya.

naisip ko tuloy, more than the awards, it is the sincere thank you and the respect accorded to you by your peers that really makes all the efforts you've exerted all these years worth it. i'm thankful to have met friends who believe in me and in what i can do.

salamat din kaibigan for always being there and for all the support you've extended to me.

..........
every waking moment is a chance to do good and to do better.

turning a leaf

for the first time, i'm spending my birthday away from home. by the looks of it, masaya naman.

kagabi pa lang, party na. as it turned out, may kasama kami sa workcamp na nagbirthday kahapon. so, 3 of us went to buy 3 cakes (sa dami ba naman namin, kulang ang 1) only to find out na ang isa pala dun ay para sa akin haha.

then, 3 groups presented their cultural performances, kasama kami siyempre. yung 2 kumanta, kami nag-skit, kumanta, sumayaw...san ka pa? then, some of the guys stayed up late for an acoustic session.

what a way to end the day. afterall, namulot lang naman kami ng basura along the riverbanks of the bicol river in the morning at sa naga city dumpsite in the afternoon. and to think kakarating lang namin 5am kahapon. sayang nga raw at di namin naabutan ang pag-eembudo, i.e., pagsalok ng dirt sa canal. wow, how interesting. ang tanong nga daw ng mga tao, wala bang kanal sa maynila at namasahe pa kayo para maglinis? oh well. masaya magworkcamp so here we are.

kahapon was quite an extraordinary day. we gathered around the television sets to watch the Pope's burial. what an amazing sight to behold: throngs of people filling the st. peter's square to pay last respects to the man, undoubtedly one of the most important world figures in recent times. sayang i didn't take the chance to go to vatican last year. i never thought it would have been my only chance of seeing him.

what struck me about the whole ceremony was that i never saw an image of the pontiff anywhere. and the coffin was as simple as it could be. and yet, andaming dignitaries na andun.

i wonder how it would have felt if i were there. will the whole thing move me to tears? (naku, baka matuluyan na ako sa vatican at di na umuwi.) i wouldn't know of course but i certainly look up to the man who, even up to his last breath, was able to draw people closer to God.

the Pope's passing will certainly usher in a new page in the Church's history. coincidentally, while our eyes were all glued to the tv set, a pre-school graduation ceremony was taking place right beneath us, in the function room of the naga youth center. outside, around the swimming pool, there was a wedding reception, too. and i knew of at least five people na nagbibirthday.

coincidence? maybe. pero ang galing ng timing. all four signify an end to something and a dawning of a new one. personal thoughts? i'm looking forward to another good year ahead.

i'm spending the day preparing a newsletter chronicling our activities here. (watch out for the embudo chronicles.) that gives us a respite from the manual work, kaya eto, blogging on the side, in the guise of writing hehe. will start writing pretty soon. so there. wish me a great day, ok?

..........
salamat sa lahat nang nakaalala. i'm truly blessed to have you all, my friends.

leaving

i'm leaving later this morning for naga. we'll help repair a school, teach children and go on excursions and a tour around bicol. i'm more than excited i should say. sa 14 pa ang balik ko.

came from coron last weekend. that was really fun. two days of island-hopping, swimming, snorkling, rafting (and of course some working sessions in the evening)...what a welcome break after a really long, agonizing sem. and to think i just turned in a mediocre paper the day we left for a philo class--by mediocre i mean 11 pages, double-spaced, na tadtad pa ng spacing in between paragraphs. a terrible experience pero given the circumstances, that was the best i could have done. to my surprise, sir mendoza gave me a 1 haha. ambait, sobra.

mp177 was a different story. after spending countless nights and days doing the 50-page tv script, i got a 2! pero ok na rin yun kaysa inincomplete nya ako for submitting a definitely-below-ricky-lee-standard script.

wow, this sem's really groundbreaking. got a 4 in an exam in anthro (but not to worry, i'll pass), nasabon sa interview sa gma, at kung anu-ano pang kamalasan. on the positive side, got to debate with ms evang in class, traveled to other places more than 5 times i guess within the sem...what more could i ask for? (not that i'm so proud of a 4, but my wish came true: finally, masasabi ko nang complete ang college life ko. at may social life ako. lovelife...hmmm...it must have been love, but it's over now haha)

just turned in the bound copies of thesis yesterday. ang sarap ng pakiramdam. that's the ultimate sign na gagraduate ka na, yipee! now, we're just counting the days til 24...hope everything turns out really well.

stayed in maskom for some time yesterday. it feels weird na wala nang tao. maskom pa na maingay, masaya, magulo. will surely miss it. i know law school will definitely be different but what can i say...some good things come at a certain price.

which reminds me, i should be making some improvements in this blog some time soon. pagbalik ko siguro. i'll try to put in some really good journalistic stories. this site, after all, will be my sole outlet for my journalistic side. it's sad. 4 years kang nag-aral and you won't even get to practice what you've learned. and the opportunities that you only used to dream of are now coming to you pero kailangan mong tanggihan.

well, who knows what His plans are. i hope i'm stronger now to face them. i hope it's not too late. a basta, live each day a moment at a time. and make the best out of it. at least i've got some words to live by: every waking moment is a chance to do good and to do better.

i wish the Pope well. i'm sure he'll be in heaven. and to all the people who have recently left this temporary abode--terri schiavo, prince rainier of monaco, limee, the up eng'g student, at kung sino pa man--we'll see you soon. for the meantime, do watch over us, ok?

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so far so good so far

paalam

salamat limee sa mga alaalang iniwan mo sa amin. we will miss you.

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in life's journey, time comes when roads branch out and people must part ways. i'm just glad that at least once, we've crossed paths. you became part of my life, hope i became part of yours, too.

research break

i'm sitting in front of computer 12 here in a small internet shop in surigao. i'm waiting for offices to open come 1p.m. to resume data-gathering. i've got a full afternoon ahead of me: return materials to an ngo office across the street, visit the regional mines bureau, check out city planning and devt office, meet up with a rep of an environmental organization, look for the national commission on indigenous people office, and whatever i could squeeze in.

tomorrow, when rhea arrives (plus her yaya, er, companion--hehe), we're going to nonoc, just a one-hour boatride from surigao. we'll be back sunday morning. then we leave for cebu sunday night and fly to manila monday. heck, i have to catch a 5pm class.

pretty tough schedule but i like this more than sitting in class. you won't believe it but last wednesday, i was sleeping during philo class. it wasn't really a philo class but a lecture in place of confucius, the confusing one. the topic: philosophy of life, why do we laugh and cry? (don't ask me, i wasn't listening).

maybe i was too preoccupied with the tons of things i had to do before leaving. i left for cebu yesterday at 7am with only 2 hours of sleep. the moment i stepped foot on the ship, and after eating of course, i had my longest sleep in weeks.

funny i should bring up the leaving part because when i got to the passenger's terminal at the airport yesterday, i saw mu reporting live for unang hirit. when i boarded the ship that night, it was her again live on 24 oras. the last time i saw here was in october, when i was still in surigao. and to think that i never saw her back in qc. hmmm... maybe i should be in surigao often...nah, wrong reason.

hemmingway (tama ba spelling?), got to go now. wish us luck in our adventures. just want to get this thesis over and done with. hopefully with good results.

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life is beautiful